Going, going, bronzed: The list of Cubs immortalized with a statue now numbers two.

A 7-foot, 300-pound likeness of ex-slugger Ernie Banks in full swing was unveiled outside Wrigley Field on Monday, joining the statue of late broadcaster Harry Caray, to unanimous acclaim:Banks: "Is that me? Is that me? This is a miracle."

Serenading fans: "Er-nie! ... Er-nie!... Er-nie!"

Neighborhood pigeons: "Let's spray two."

Headlines

• In the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times, on the Nationals' new ballpark: "There's a new Washington monument — to mediocrity."

• At TheOnion.com, on Kansas City's low-budget baseball operation: "Royals told not to get uniforms dirty."

Loadin' up the truck

Not only is this year's Final Four the first to feature exclusively No. 1 regional seeds, but the four — OK, three of them — boast a combined 17 national championships.

"Consider that UCLA has 11, Carolina four and Kansas two," wrote Newsday's Joe Gergen. "They rank among the bluest of bluebloods in the sport. In contrast, Memphis is a distinct outsider, hailing from a downgraded, one-bid conference.

"If we were talking families here, the first three would be the Rockefellers, the Carnegies and the Stanfords, rich in tradition and pedigree; Memphis would be the Clampetts."

Take me out, way out

Snippet from the Q&A section of Norman Chad's syndicated column:

"Q: Why did Major League Baseball open its season in Tokyo? (Geoff Perry, Indianapolis)

"A: Jose Canseco's books haven't been translated into Japanese yet."

Ring-tossed?

In case you missed Sunday's Wrestlemania XXIV in Orlando, Fla., Ric Flair lost in what veteran ringsiders suspect was his final match at the ripe old rasslin' age of 59.

A telling moment, insiders say, came when The Nature Boy couldn't remember where he'd stashed his foreign object.

Quote marks

• Richard Oliver of the San Antonio Express-News, after a doctor testified that heavy steroid use likely caused former cycling champion Tammy Thomas to develop chest hair, a beard and other male characteristics: "The dead giveaway, though, was the handlebar moustache."

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on the new "Joe Paterno, Communications and the Media" course being offered at Penn State: "It'll be a joint venture between the Journalism and Anthropology departments."

• Comedian Argus Hamilton, on how the Dodgers lured a record crowd of 115,300 to an exhibition game at the L.A. Coliseum: "It was free handgun night."

• Cubs fan Bill Stubblefield of Indianapolis, to the Chicago Tribune, on why his team is destined to break its record hex and win its first World Series since 1908: "The Roman numeral for 100 is C."

Teed Off Dept.

Tiger Woods, saying cameras clicking during his backswing have caused errant shots, recently vowed to "break the ... neck" of the next photographer who does it.

So forget Butch Harmon. Looks like Tiger could use a good mood-swing coach.

Sideline Chatter appears Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com